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If Video Game Characters Ran for Office….

If Video Game Characters Ran for Office….

I originally planned to do this as a series of lists, but then I thought that would be an overkill and settled for this article.

The United States presidential election is less than a month away, and it is time for speculations, debates, attack ads, and competition. All of us here at Gaming Symmetry have our own opinions, but we find it funnier to speculate which video game character would run for the office, and how could she win the primary of his or her own party. Imagine the US election was between these candidates! It would be fun, no? So, we have five main parties in the USA, Constitution, Green, Libertarian, Republican, and Democrat. The most powerful parties are the Democrats and Republicans, and here I considered Democrats the most powerful one because they are now the incumbent party. So this is the game: try to find a character who most symbolizes the ideology of that party. Let that character be the nominee. Then, you can imagine voting for one of them as the president of the gaming world.

Note: For the sake of fun, I have discarded logic and common sense. They don’t have to be alive, or even American.

Note 2: I’ve tried to be as nasty as possible in my every choice. Sorry for that, but that would be more fun.

So let’s get down to business.

Constitution Party

The Constitution Party is a country which more right-wing than the Republican party, and its support usually comes from the most devout Christians. The most important policy of the party is its opposition to immigrants, and it supports the harshest way to stop people from immigrating to USA. They are pro-life, against drugs, against gay marriage, and in general, they are people who presumably couldn’t find Rick Santorum and Rick Perry Christian enough. Also unlike the Republicans they support a non-interventionist foreign policy.

The nominee: Meredith Stannard

She is the leader of the Templars in the game Dragon Age II. She is extremely religious, even more than the Pope herself (I mean the most important priestess). She will go to any extreme measure to protect her city, especially from the outsiders. Her religious extremism and her hatred of people who are not like her, i.e. the mages, make her the perfect candidate for the Constitution Party. She really wants to close the borders of the city from the outside world and let no one in.

What might separate her from the party is that she’s very prone to violence. However, you will be hard-pressed to find any unboring video game characters who is both an extremist and peaceful. What makes her suitable though is that she never shows any sign that she wants to attack anyone outside her city, she just wants to keep her own turf of what she dislikes. She is a leader of a religious militia, and the Constitution Party is very fascinated with the Second Amendment, so maybe they are looking forward to the same thing.

Closest real-life politician: Jan Brewer, governor of Arizona

Green Party

Well the name is pretty clear, isn’t it? Green Party is mostly concerned with the environment and its conservation, but apart from that, it’s also the most progressive and left-wing party in the USA (yes, I know, they also have Communist and Socialist Party… but come on). They support abortion, higher taxes, finance regulation, getting money out of the politics, gay marriage, universal health care, gun control, and peaceful (some might say a bit too peaceful) foreign policy. So far they have succeeded in electing one president into the office (George W. Bush).

The candidate: Fay

Fay is one of the main characters of the point-and-click adventure game A New Beginning. She is a pacifist who comes from the future to warn the denizens of Earth from the dangers of polluting the environment, and the disasters of nuclear technology, and the importance of green energy. This is pretty much how the Green Party imagines itself. She constantly complains about the unclean behavior of people, about how the cars and engines pollute the earth, and one time she throws a fit over the death of a single bird. She shuns violence and even the sight of guns.

She shares the main flaw of Green Party too, bad PR. She constantly lectures the gamer in a very self-righteous way, so the gamer thinks she considers him/her an idiot. Her voice actor is horrible with the emotional range of Siri and her writing is terrible. Still, her heart is in the right place.

Closest real-life politician: Al Gore, former Vice President who won an Oscar for his Power Point presentation.

Libertarian Party

The basic tenets of the Libertarian party are small government and freedom. They believe in borderline anarchy. So they are are more right-wing than Republicans in the economic issues, and more left-wing than the Democrats in the social issues. They are against taxes, and are for civil liberties (including support for same-sex marriage and other LGBT rights), legalization of drugs, separation of church and state, open immigration, non-interventionism, freedom of trade and travel to all foreign countries, and a more responsive and direct democracy.

The candidate: Andrew Ryan

He is the main antagonist of the great game Bioshock. So the intellectual mother of Libertarianism is Ayn Rand, and this guy is called Andrew Ryan…. see the similarity? Cool. Like most Libertarian candidates, he would first run in the Republican primaries, but he has no way of winning. His ardent atheism, his disregard for social rules, and finally his interest in sophisticated arts will cause him to come last in every primary. But this guy can easily be the Libertarian nominee. He started a libertarian haven for God’s sake. An underwater city with minimal government, no limit on business whatsoever, no regulation, no censorship, and only the concept of individual responsibility exists. To Ryan a man does not fight for God, country, or anything else, but for himself. He is an example of a great villain because he is sincere, honest, and not portrayed in a way which belittles his character.

Closest real-life politician: Penn Jillette, famous libertarian and atheist activist.

The Republican Party

The two main political parties in the US are center parties, and the Republicans are a center right party, although after Bush and especially after Obama’s election they have substantially shifted to the right. They are fiscally conservative, supporting the ideals of free market and individual responsibility, especially for the wealthy and big corporations, and also social conservatism, as they are against abortion, gun control, marijuana legalization, and they are strong in religious parts of the country.

The candidate: David Sarif

Adam Jensen’s employer in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. He is a CEO and a very successful businessman, something that Republicans really like. Furthermore, he built up his own business, following the Republican model of a good life. He values hard work and dedication. He also believes in Free Market, believing that we should leave people do what they want to do and nothing will go wrong with the lack of regulation. Like the Republicans, he believes in using force to fight with the enemies from the outside of the countries.

Also, he’s not very honest and transparent, he is secretive, and encourages Jensen to lie about the events of the game, so you somehow get the feeling that he’s willing to lie to get what he wants.

Closest real-life politician: Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts and presidential candidate.

The Democratic Party

The Democrats are the center-left part of the USA. They represent progressive ideas, and modern liberalism. Like the Greens, they support limiting private financing of campaigns, gay marriage, universal government health care, progressive taxation, and less immigration restriction. There are however issues that they certainly lean right and not left. They generally don’t support the legalization of pot and they are not much different from the Republicans in the foreign policy, they are somehow as hawkish and as interventionist.

The candidate: Ashley Graham

Why Ashley Graham? She is someone who symbolizes the strengths and the weaknesses of the democratic party today. She is likable and irritable at the same time. Her mind in the right place. She comes from a political family. Her father is the president. She’s competent and brave. She keeps her relative cool in trying situations. She reminds you of someone you really really love (Heather Mason). You think if she was modeled

But, she has no fighting spirit. She just stands there, getting eaten by the zombies. She’s helpless and needs protection. It is true that she uses Leo to effectively crush her opponents’ brains in, but still, her own demeanor, behavior and way of talking, just makes her come out as a weak character, and it doesn’t matter how accurate that description is, it is the perception and in politics, only perception exists.

Closest real-life politician: Bill Clinton, former president.

So that’s it! Among these candidates, for whom would you vote? Or do you disagree with the choices? Whom would you nominate? Comment below!

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