the artistry and psychology of gaming

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The Top 10 Boxes in Video Games

The Top 10 Boxes in Video Games

Hi there. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Saturnalia/Festivus. And hopefully today, you’re having an equally wonderful Boxing Day. As an American, I don’t get any time off or extra holiday pay on the 26th, but I decided I should celebrate anyway. As such, I decided to compile a list of the 10 greatest boxes in video games. (Please note that this list is not about real-life video game packaging or cover art; this is about boxes in games, not the other way around.)

A man named Erik Wolpaw – co-founder and co-author of legendary gaming journalism site Old Man Murray – once said, “Games can be rated and compared based on the shortest amount of time it takes a player to reach the first crate, which represents the point where the developers ran out of ideas. This number is measured in seconds and is called ‘Start to Crate’ or ‘StC’. The smaller the StC, the worse the game.” Of course, I won’t disagree that there are a ridiculous number of video games that feature crates and other such boxes, and in most of them, the crates only serve as placeholders for what more clever designers like to call “creativity” and “ideas.” However, I feel that this makes the best boxes stand out even more.

Now, it’s true that the creation of this list stems from my dual loves of video games and boxes. Having spent several years working on the stocking teams at a grocery store and a retail store, I have become very emotionally attached to all things with six sides and right angles. So this is as much a passion project as it is a venue to highlight the best of the best, the greatest of the crate.

As for what qualifies as a box, my standards were rather lax. The only criteria are that the object in question must be shaped roughly like a square/rectangle/cube/rectangular parallelepiped. Being some sort of container definitely helps, but isn’t strictly necessary. Since this list is Serious Business™, I will never, ever deviate from those guidelines.

As a final footnote, I would like to point out that, while they serve much the same purpose, barrels are not eligible for this list, regardless of whether they are explosive, thrown by large primates, or used by geriatric super-soldiers as a disguise.

#10: Any Box (Deus Ex)

So many possibilities!

So many possibilities!

Box as Swiss Army Knife

By now, it’s no secret that I love me some Deus Ex. It has excellent gameplay and an intelligent, engrossing narrative, all wrapped up in a package so delightfully cyberpunk that it has no problem standing alongside the likes of Blade Runner or the William Gibson novel Neuromancer as a poster child for the subgenre. But the hallmark of Deus Ex is the emphasis the game places on player choice. Would you like to charge through the level with guns blazing? Or would it be more your style to slink stealthily through the area, silently dispatching the guards one-by-one or even avoiding them altogether? It’s entirely up to you. Do you want to burn through some resources to deactivate those automated defenses? Or would you rather spend some skill points on hacking, so you can remotely take control of that sentry gun from a nearby computer terminal? Your choice. The freedom granted to the player, along with the brilliant and permissive level design, has led this masterpiece of design to become revered as one of the greatest games of all time.

Contributing to this mind-boggling freedom of choice is, surprisingly, a number of nondescript boxes. For example, a savvy player can *ahem* think outside the box and make a stack of crates (the Microfibral Muscle augmentation helps) to climb up to otherwise unreachable areas. Metal crates can also be used as portable cover, and provided they are large enough, boxes can keep a stealthy player out of a patrolling enemy’s line of sight. During my first playthrough of the sequel, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, I snuck past the watchful gaze of a swiveling security camera by dragging a vending machine (which is really just a giant box when you think about it) down the hall behind me. Boxes can also be used to kill terrorists, immobilize robots, create distractions, or serve as platforms to cross electrified water. So why are these boxes down at #10 on this list? Well, their versatility is also their greatest weakness; as jacks of all trades, masters of none, these boxes have never really made a name for themselves, and are far less iconic than the others on this list.

See Also: Half-Life 2 features many similarly versatile boxes, most of which can be used in conjunction with the awesome Gravity Gun.

#9: Sasha’s Shooting Gallery (Psychonauts)

...unless you count the entirety of Portal.

Behold! The Greatest Tutorial Level Ever!

Box as Environment

Psychonauts, a mind-bending 3D platformer from the twisted, hilarious, brilliant mind of Tim Schafer, is an amazing game. I understand that this is a gaming website, and games this good tend to garner a lot of attention on sites like this. However, judging by the game’s pitiful sales figures, statistics would be on my side if I were to wager that most of the people reading this haven’t played it. To bring everyone up to speed, in Psychonauts, you play as Razputin “Raz” Aquato, a fledgling cadet at a summer camp/training facility for psychically-gifted children. Much like other 3D platformer/collect-a-thons, there is a hub world, from which you can enter several isolated themed levels to start picking up various trinkets. Unlike most other games of its ilk, each of the levels in Psychonauts takes place inside someone’s mind, and is based on their personality. For example, the level inside a vivacious optimist’s mind is a non-stop dance party, and the mind of a painter suffering from OCD is rendered like a black velvet painting, but has an obstacle constantly trying to push you backward so you must repeat parts of the level.

This brings us to the mind of a man named Sasha Nein, which serves as the tutorial for the Psi-Blast ability. Sasha is a cold, logical, emotionally-distant (but not entirely humorless) man who stresses order and control, kind of like Spock if he were a German with telekinesis and a turtleneck. As such, his subconscious manifests itself as a large black-and-white cube, with all of his thoughts organized neatly inside. It even has its own gravity, so you can run around it, Super Mario Galaxy-style. Of course, Raz, being the inquisitive and reckless sort, introduces some undue chaos to the environment by setting free a bunch of Censors (this game’s standard enemy). When the allegorical solid waste hits the proverbial ventilation device, you must run from one face of the cube to the next to bring all of the errant Censors under control. Naturally, you do this by shooting things with Psi-Blast, because hey, that’s what you just learned, and Psychonauts is a well-designed game.

See Also: Speaking of Super Mario Galaxy, that game actually has it’s own cube level in Gusty Garden Galaxy: a planetoid known as the Puzzle Cube. Also, the Labyrinth in God of War III was a massive cube made of smaller cubes.

#8: Cannibox (Dragon Warrior III)

Also known as a Mimic or a Man-Eater Box.

Also known as a Mimic or a Man-Eater Box.

Box as Enemy

Treasure chests are boxes. You know, those piratey-looking wooden containers with hinged lids and the occasional keyhole? If you’re a fan of JRPGs or action-adventure games (specifically those that take place in fantasy worlds), you’ve likely opened more of these than you can count in search of some phat lootz, or at least items that are better than the ones scattered haphazardly about the ground. But how much do we really know about these treasure chests? Why do they seemingly always contain nothing more than a single small item, with the other 90% of its contents being empty space? How long were those skeletons lurking, just waiting to ambush the first person who raided their beloved treasure chest? Most importantly, who put all of these treasure chests in all of these dungeons? If they were only found in the actual dungeons of castles, that would be understandable, but when you can stumble across treasure chests inside a giant sapient tree, underneath an active volcano, or within the belly of a giant fish-god, these ubiquitous boxes start to raise some eyebrows.

It’s probably best not to think about this too hard. Instead, imagine that you’re wandering through a dilapidated temple that has been abandoned by sentient beings for millennia. In the next room, you notice a shiny, well-maintained treasure chest. Gee, you think, I hope it contains a perishable food item that I can eat to restore my HP! However, as you approach the treasure chest, it springs to life and attacks! Congratulations, you have just encountered a Cannibox (or possibly, its more powerful counterpart, the Mimic). While the revolutionary Dragon Quest series didn’t invent the concept of a Mimic (that honor likely goes to Dungeons & Dragons), it was one of the first video games to feature them, and its rendition remains among the most recognizable.

See Also: Monsters disguised as helpful items appear in many other games. In some, a subtle palette swap or other minor deformity may give away their presence. Mimics are also quite fond of impersonating doors and save points.

#7: Boxing (Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!)

Or just "Punch-Out!!" with Mr. Dream if you hate celebrities.

Or just “Punch-Out!!” with Mr. Dream if you hate celebrities.

It’s a game about BOXing! See what I did there?

No…?

Okay, fine, I’ll stop. Here’s the real #7.

#7: You (Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest)

"Hi!"

“Hi!”

Box as Player Character

Cubivore, released for Nintendo’s Little Purple Lunchbox, is an interesting game. It’s the kind of game that Charles Darwin might have made if he had a fetish for boxes (and was alive at any point that video games existed). It is an action-y, adventure-y… simulation-y… thing, that surprisingly offers a (very streamlined) depiction of natural selection. It also features a charming, simplistic, boxy art style; even the clouds and the Sun are blocks. Originally released as a Japan-only game under the title “Dobutsu Banchou” (translated roughly as “Animal Leader”), the game was met with lukewarm critical reception and poor sales, causing Nintendo to shy away from localizing the game for the West. (Also, this was before the release of Katamari Damacy, which showed just how receptive Western audiences could be to bizarre Japanese ridiculousness.) Thankfully, Japanese developer/publisher Atlus – of Megami Tensei, Trauma Center, and Catherine fame – stepped up to spread the Darwinian weirdness to the rest of the world, giving it a catchy English name in the process.

The plot of Cubivore is that a tyrannical beast called the Killer Cubivore has climbed to the top of the food chain and, along with his cronies, has drained the wilderness of natural resources. It’s kind of like how after Scar took over Pride Rock, all the rivers dried up for some reason. As such, you have taken it upon yourself to challenge the Killer Cubivore for the title of King of All Cubivores to restore balance to the land. However, your player-named Cubivore starts off rather ill-equipped to defeat a ferocious, bloodthirsty predator, so you must evolve to the point at which you can face him. How does one go about this process? You do this by violently and mercilessly ripping the limbs off of the other living denizens of the game world and eating them to gain extra powers. Should your Cubivore face a boss that you can’t beat with your current abilities, you can have hot cube-sex with a female cube-animal and have your mutated cube-babies fight to the death in your place. Rated E for Everyone.

See Also: The indie game Edge is pretty much Marble Madness, except you play as a cube instead of a ball. Also, in Adventure for the Atari 2600, you played as a box, I guess….

#6: The Horadric Cube (Diablo II)

The actual box is in the lower right of the large inventory grid. The smaller grid to the left is the inside.

The actual box is in the lower right of the large inventory grid. The smaller grid to the left is the inside.

Box as Quest Item

By now, I am probably one of only three people in the gaming community who has never played World of Warcraft. And though I have not once set foot in the realm of Azeroth, I have spent quite possibly more time than is healthy in the world of a different Blizzard game: the isometric dungeon-crawling hack-and-slash action-RPG loot-fest Diablo II (specifically the Lord of Destruction expansion). A few years ago, there were many a night when my buddies and I would assemble at someone’s house, turn the TV to whichever channel was showing Law & Order at the time (it’s always on), and stay up all night killing The Countess or Mephisto or Baal’s minions over and over again, before walking to the local diner (through the snow if necessary) for breakfast at sunrise. And it was good. But beyond being insanely addicting, it is also a balanced, refined, and at times challenging experience, timeless enough that it still has a sizeable community over a decade after its release (and even after the release of its sequel, Diablo III). So stay a while and listen to my tale of the Horadric Cube.

At a couple points in the story, you are required to combine several Plot Coupons into one Super Plot Coupon. To do this, you simply need to throw all of the pieces into the Horadric Cube (which you must find) and hit the Transmute button. But unlike quest items in most RPGs, the usefulness of the Horadric Cube far outlasts the two times per difficulty level that it is explicitly required. You can use it to craft rare items, or to transmute large quantities of useless crap into progressively more useful and valuable crap (e.g. high-level Runes, Perfect Gems and Skulls). Transmuting items is also the only way to access the infamous Secret Cow Level. Lastly, the Horadric Cube only takes up a 2×2 space on your inventory grid, but enough items can be placed inside of it to fill a 3×4 grid, allowing you to carry more useless crap than usual. In a game filled with as much useless crap as Diablo II, the Horadric Cube is a necessity.

See Also: A couple of the God of War games featured Pandora’s Box as a quest item. Also, Perfect Dark had a level that started you off right next to a hovering crate filled with explosives. Guiding this volatile hover-crate through an enemy infested warehouse and shooting it at a specific location was the only way to break through a wall to the rest of the level. Or rather, it would be the only way if you didn’t know about the secondary firing modes of the Dragon assault rifle or the Phoenix pistol. However, the hover-crate still holds fond memories for me because cleverly utilizing the one found in the hub level (and exploiting a glitch in the firing range) would let you hit that condescending jackass down in the hangar with a remote-guided missile (he doesn’t do it in the video, but it’s the same concept as when he hits Carrington around 7:45).

#5: Question Blocks (Super Mario Bros.)

One of the classics.

One of the classics.

Box as Container

While compiling this list, I tried to limit the number of times I included a specific subset of box: the Ammo Crate. In a shooter, an Ammo Crate will (obviously) contain ammunition, grenades, or occasionally new weapons. Platformers can also feature glorified Ammo Crates, usually containing power-ups or a small amount of that particular game’s “collect 100 for an extra life” thingamabobs. Of course, there are a number of notable Ammo Crates to choose from – the crates from GoldenEye 007 that were so hardcore, they would explode if you shot them; the computer monitors in Sonic the Hedgehog; the boxes scattered throughout every Crash Bandicoot level that would require you to break all of them for 100% completion; the large crates in the Donkey Kong Country series that would hold your animal buddies (because when two anthropomorphic apes are fighting an army of anthropomorphic reptilians, they sometimes need the help of other animals who don’t get to be anthropomorphic for some reason); even the care packages in the Modern Warfare games that you could drop on people’s heads if you were lucky enough. But by far, the most iconic Ammo Crates are the Question Blocks from Super Mario Bros.

People all over the world recognize them. But until you punch one of them from underneath (Mario isn’t hitting it with his head; check the animation closely), you never know what’s actually in it. The Question Block could hold a coveted Starman to grant you temporary invincibility. It could contain a valuable 1-Up Mushroom, increasing your stock of extra lives by one. Hitting it could unleash a beanstalk, allowing you to reach new areas of the level. Or it could hold naught but a single coin. But until you open it, its contents will remain a mystery. That’s why the question mark is there. With the exceptions of the US version of Super Mario Bros. 2, the original version of Super Mario 64, and Super Mario Sunshine, these enigmatic boxes have appeared in every Mario platformer to date, and even some non-platformers like the Paper Mario games and Mario Kart games. Many of those titles also include invisible Question Blocks that only reveal themselves after they’ve been hit.

Fun Fact: The manual for Super Mario Bros. implies that the Question Blocks are citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom that have been transformed by Bowser’s magic. This seems to have since been retconned right the hell out of the series history.

#4: Chest Blocks (Minecraft)

I was going to put the chest in front of a giant re-creation of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but then I got lazy.

I was going to put the chest in front of a giant re-creation of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but then I got lazy.

Box as Everything

Minecraft is quite possibly the biggest, most popular game to ever come from an independent studio. (It’s also the leading cause of people shouting “F***ING LAVA!”) This sort of game might not have been possible a few years ago, but thanks to the indie developer revolution of the past half-decade, a man named Markus “Notch” Persson (and later his studio, Mojang) was able to make a sandbox creation game that has since sold millions of copies and permeated gaming culture. When you boot up a new game of Minecraft, you will be dropped into a randomly generated world made of pixilated blocks. From there, you should probably make a pickax (punching trees will give you wood… wait, that came out wrong) and build a house of some sort, because once night falls, the land will be overrun by explosive Creepers and other such monsters. But what do you do from there? Well, anything you want, really. Achievements and a final boss have since been added to the game for some objective-based gameplay, but Minecraft is really what you make of it. You could easily spend all your time recreating giant Mega Man sprites, or constructing a 1:1 scale model of the Starship Enterprise, or building a sheep launcher, or designing a mechanism that can play the song Bohemian Rhapsody. Minecraft is but your canvas; it’s up to you to create!

That brings me back to the topic of this list. As I planned the list, I encountered a cubical conundrum: if the entire game is made of boxes, which one do I choose as the best one? I could have selected every block collectively, but that would have felt like cheating. Important or functional blocks, like Monster Spawners or Redstone Ore, were possibilities at one point. For a while, I was going to go the distance with the Cake block because cake is delicious, but I chose not to because its hat is on backwards and it is calling me “Dude”. I even briefly considered picking the most obscure block possible – something like Block 36 – and describing how it was the greatest, mostly for the lulz. Then the answer to my question dawned on me. The greatest box in the game is none other than the Chest Block. Why? Because it is a box… that can hold all of the other boxes… including other Chest Blocks! Yo dawg, I heard you like containers, so I put a box in your box you can hold stuff while you hold stuff.

See Also: While the blocks are a bit smaller, the Zelda pastiche 3D Dot Game Heroes is also comprised of boxy oversized “pixels,” rendered in high-definition glory.

#3: Block Puzzle Crates (Sokoban)

This already hurts my brain.

This already hurts my brain.

Box as Puzzle Element

For almost as long as boxes have existed in video games, they have been used in video game puzzles. Many of these puzzles involve the destruction of boxes, à la Boom Blox. While they aren’t really puzzle games, Breakout and Arkanoid also involve the destruction of box-like “bricks.” Other box-centric puzzles involve stacking, like a few of the ones in Rocket: Robot on Wheels. Perennial favorite Tetris manages to combine both the stacking and destruction of boxes. But for this entry, we’re going to go old school, back before advanced physics engines were introduced to games, even before the Russians started dropping blocks, to Sokoban.

While crates generally represent where the developers ran out of ideas, in this game, they represent the point at which the developers started getting ideas. The entire point of Sokoban (which translates as “warehouse keeper”) is to push a number of crates onto an equal number of predetermined destinations. That may sound simple, but given the number of possible layouts, the fact that you cannot pull crates, and the fact that you cannot walk through crates or walls, things can get extremely complicated very quickly. Analysts of computational complexity theory have proven that Sokoban puzzles are “NP-hard,” as well as “PSPACE-complete.” If you know what those terms mean, good job, because I sure as hell don’t. I can only assume that the former means “really, really awesome and difficult” and that the latter means “the greatest thing to happen to boxes since people invented stuff to put in them.” What I can tell you with certainty is that solving Sokoban-type puzzles can improve your spatial reasoning, and make it easier to figure out how to move half-ton bales of compressed cardboard through a cluttered stockroom with a pallet jack. The only thing that worries me is how many of Sokoban’s levels end with the warehouse guy trapped in a corner with no way out.

See Also: Sokoban-esque block-pushing puzzles have since found their way into countless games, ranging from action-adventures to RPGs, including Vagrant Story, Chip’s Challenge, and just about every single Legend of Zelda game.

#2: The Cardboard Box (Metal Gear Solid)

(Note: The pictured box is unrelated to the 2007 video game compilation released by Valve Corporation.)

(Note: The pictured box is unrelated to the 2007 video game compilation released by Valve Corporation.)

Box as Stealth Aid

In Metal Box Solid, you assume the role of Solid Crate, a supersoldier who must come out of retirement to infiltrate a military base on Shadow Boxes Island in order to stop rogue agents of BOXHOUND from acquiring the superweapon Metal Gear BOX. The series as a whole is known for several distinctive aspects. From a gameplay standpoint, the series features innovative stealth mechanics and celebrated, wildly imaginative boss fights. Regarding narrative, the franchise is known for addressing a number of complex and mature themes – including genetics, sociology, political science, the effect that an environment has on an individual, as well as Hegelian and Nietzschean philosophy – usually through convoluted plotlines and ridiculously long cutscenes. And melodrama. Lots and lots of melodrama. But even with all of the heavy themes and pathos, the series never takes itself completely seriously. For example, the games make a habit of continuously leaning on, poking at, cracking, chipping, breaking, shattering, steamrolling, destroying, and otherwise annihilating the fourth wall. It could be argued that no other video game series has abused the fourth wall as frequently, effectively, or creatively as Hideo Kojima’s brainchild. But that isn’t the only time that Metal Gear Solid gets goofy.

Each game in the Metal Gear series takes place several years after its release date (with the exception of MGS3 and the spinoffs thereof, which are prequels). As such, the protagonist in any given title is equipped with highly advanced technology, with many gadgets that are outright science fiction. However, one of the most useful (and ingeniously silly) items in Solid Snake’s arsenal was available as early as 1890. Alongside such bleeding-edge technology as the nanomachine-based Codec and the Soliton Radar, Snake makes regular use of a simple cardboard box, which he tends to procure on site. The box allows you to effectively hide in plain sight; guards will ignore the box as long as they don’t see it moving, it isn’t directly in their patrol route, and they aren’t otherwise alerted to the box’s suspicious nature. Over the course of the series, Snake has grown increasingly attached to the comforting embrace of corrugated cardboard. Even though a cardboard box is all but useless in the jungles of 1964 Russia, Snake’s ancestor still feels that it is his “destiny” to be in the box. And while Snake starts to favor a metal barrel in MGS4, his Psyche meter will still replenish more quickly than normal if you hide in the cardboard box. And he should be fond of the box; the only characters who have ever made better use of a cardboard box are Calvin and Hobbes.

For Some Extra Fun: 1. Sneak up behind a guard.
2. Throw them to the ground.
3. Hide in the cardboard box.
4. “Just a box.”
5. Repeat ad infinitum.

#1: The Weighted Companion Cube (Portal)

Note: The pictured box is indeed related to the 2007 video game compilation released by Valve Corporation.

Note: The pictured box is indeed related to the 2007 video game compilation released by Valve Corporation.

Box as Loyal Friend

Portal. A puzzle game that even the most aggressive action junkie can get into. An ingenious blend of brilliant level design, polished gameplay, and a darkly hilarious script. Described by some as a perfect game. Source of countless comments on the internet about spurious baked desserts and congratulations to various protagonists for inadvertently destroying things that could otherwise be of use. Simply put, a pop culture phenomenon. If you haven’t at least heard of this game by now, then there’s a very good chance that you’ve stumbled onto this website by mistake, in which case I enjoy the sweater very much Grandma, and I’ll see you at family dinner next week.

I’d like to remind you of the man I quoted in the intro to this list, Erik Wolpaw. He soon abandoned the Old Man Murray site to write for video games, instead of about video games, and eventually found himself as one of the lead writers of Valve’s Portal, along with fellow OMM co-founder/co-author Chet Faliszek. This may seem ironic, given Portal’s placement on this list of video game boxes, but it’s actually rather fitting that someone with such a hatred for banality and clichés would create the greatest box in video game history.

Thanks to Erik and Chet, the writing and characterization in Portal is fantastic, to the point where the standard sentry guns manage to have more personality than the protagonists in many other games. But even with the chatty turrets and the extolled GLaDOS, the Portal character that has appeared on the most T-shirts, has been the subject of the most fan-art, and has gotten the most love in general is the humble Weighted Companion Cube. It never speaks, doesn’t have a face, and never even moves of its own volition, so why do we adore it so much? Maybe it’s because the fact that it cannot speak means that it will never threaten to stab us. Or maybe it’s the happy pink hearts painted onto it that differentiate it from all of the other cubes in Aperture Science’s testing facility.

The truth is that GLaDOS makes you love the Weighted Companion Cube, starting from the moment she encourages you to “take care of it.” Valve knows how to make games flow well, and since the Cube was required for the entire test chamber, they immediately try to forge a bond between the Cube and the player to make sure that no one would leave it behind. Of course, the Cube’s eventual fate, specifically GLaDOS’s involvement therein, is an excellent source of character development. It may be heartbreaking, but ’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

See Also: The Orange Box, the 2007 video game compilation released by Valve Corporation.

Conclusion

Honorable Mentions
Any Box That Can Be Used as Cover (Gears of War/Uncharted/etc.): Boxes can save your life.

Meat Cube (Gears of War 2): This was featured as part of a tech demo for Unreal Engine 3 at GDC 2008. Unfortunately, the Meat Cube didn’t make it into the final game in that form, but it remains one of the most intriguing/disgusting/confusing boxes in gaming.

Item Chests (Resident Evil): Apparently while they were figuring out how to breed an army of mutated super-soldiers (because that never goes wrong), they also figured out how to make trans-dimensional chests that can share items with each other across a distance.

The Ball (Pong): We may call it a “ball,” but take a closer look. Four sides. Right angles. That, my friends, is a box.

O-Block (Tetris): I already mentioned Tetris, but the O-block is even boxier than the other blocks. It may have made the Top 10 if it were as useful as the I-Block or as charismatic as the L-Block, but unfortunately the O-Block is a stupid loser.

GameCube/Xbox/Xbox 360: I didn’t want to play favorites, so I grouped all of these together in the Honorable Mentions.

Square Button on Playstation Controller: Confusing people who stubbornly refuse to accept anything other than arbitrary letters and numbers for button designations since 1994.

Hitboxes (Every Game Ever): They help determine who takes damage and when, unless they’re poorly programmed, in which case they help you either speed-run or rage-quit the game.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my list about boxes, crates, and cubes. I hope you enjoyed it in a box. I hope you enjoyed it with a fox. If you’d like, feel free to leave a comment to discuss this list, share your own box-related stories, or angrily demand to know why I did not include your favorite box. (You should especially do that last bit if your favorite box actually is on the list somewhere.) But for now, I leave you with these steps, through which you may possibly find true happiness:

1. Cut a hole in a box.
[Editor’s Note: The remainder of this submission has been expurgated.]

One Comment

  1. I’m quite impartial to rare red item boxes in Phantasy Star Online myself.

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