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Why Do I Hate Diablo III (Before Even Playing It)

Why Do I Hate Diablo III (Before Even Playing It)

In Iran, my country, Diablo games were never known or popular. So they always had a hipster value to me, I was the only one who liked them. I didn’t wait 12 years for Diablo III because I didn’t play them at the time of their release, but I have waited a lot for them. I remember the day that Diablo III was announced tears of joy came to my eyes, and I spent the whole following day talking about it with my friend. (who also happened to love them). But now I hate the game. No, I haven’t even bought it yet. Why, do you ask? Simple. The reason that I hate it has nothing to do with the quality of the game itself. I hate it for reasons unrelated to the game. The game might be the best game of all times. I still hate it. Why?

Before everything, please watch this video from YouTube. It’s a great humorous video which succinctly and hilariously summarizes the whole issue with this game:

If Diablo III Was a Girl

So what has happened is basically this. Blizzard wants to fight piracy in a very stupid manner. Introduces DRM. The gamers who prefer single player also have to log in to servers, and they also have to abide by multiplayer rules. Then they lose the ability to play their game because of an error on Blizzard servers. The game shows them a middle finger looking like this:

Notice that this is what happens to single players. They have just bought a game, but can’t play it as they want because Blizzard wants to fight piracy. At the same time, I assure you that pirates won’t have any problems with the game. Pirates have pirated DRM games before and they would do it again. It may take them a week or two, but soon there will be people playing Diablo III offline in the comfort of their home. UbiSoft failed. People have pirated and played Driver: San Francisco and Assassin’s Creed: Revelation without any internet connection. Starcraft II as well. So Blizzard will fail as well. They will fail because it only requires one lonely fat guy in his basement to find a way to screw your system and then your whole system is screwed forever. Because that guy will always be there. Because pirates are exactly like rats, they become stronger the more you destroy them. Spray them with the most lethal poison and the next generation will devour that poison as if it’s Mountain Dew. It’s evolution baby.

I have already argued my case about piracy. As I have said, these measures are moronic, and the case with Diablo III is the epitome of the problem I have mentioned in that article. This is the result: Blizzard’s crusade against piracy has cost them, therefore they charge more, therefore it’s affordable to less people, and this makes piracy desirable, and then the game is pirated and played illegally, while the paying costumers are screwed over because of a broken system. What situation can be more absurd than that? Is this is a play written by Samuel Beckett? Or a black misanthropic comedy lamenting the basic idiocy of our species?

Also, take a look at this hilarious article by John Cheese from Cracked.com. He excellently summarizes the whole point about this game. Let me quote him:

Sixty-four dollars is as much as some people make in an entire day. For them, handing that over to play a video game is not a minor event. All they want in return is to use the product they just f***ing paid for. If any other company in the world sold you a product that didn’t work, and then refused to hand over some sort of compensation in return, you wouldn’t even need a lawyer. The judge would tell them straight up, “Give them a working product, or give them their money back, or go to f***ing jail.” But for whatever reason, the video game industry gets away with this now? Every time they have a problem with their servers, I can’t play the game I already bought? In an era when people carry their entire music library around with them on their phones, I have less ownership and control of my video games than I had in 1979?

Unlike Mr. Cheese though, I don’t put the blame on the piracy. Let me remind you of my basic solution to the problem: austerity. Cheaper and more available games, until the piracy is not worth it.

However, Diablo III is a special case. It is an extremely popular game. It has already been commercially and critically successful. This means that the Blizzard’s broken system won’t harm them. They have already made their profit. There will be no real backlash, no harm to their reputation. No financial loss. The massive popularity of Diablo III creates an impunity for it. Let me quote Mr. Cheese again:

No! Goddammit, that’s enough. We as consumers have gotten to the point that we just accept this bullshit as “normal launch-day bugs,” when it should have never gotten to this point in the first place. I read through those forums, and you wouldn’t believe the number of people defending Blizzard through this whole ordeal. Throwing out arguments like “It’s going to happen. You can’t expect the servers to handle that many people logging on all at once.” And “Every MMO in existence has these problems on launch day.”

And this will encourage other developers to do the same. Because Blizzard wins, pirates win, only fans and paying costumers lose. And those fans and paying costumers are too devoted to their manipulators to see the evils of their way. They suffer from a massive case of Stockholm Syndrome. Therefore, the situation continues.
We gamers must be conscious of our rights. And we must realize that we are the consumers, and we deserve to be the consumers. Video game industry needs to act like all the other industries. But it won’t, until we ourselves shape up.
I have always loved Blizzard. They have created some of the best games in existence. They are a company that have been famous for the great quality of their work, and their refusal to publish even mediocre games. Unfortunately, this fiasco has been disappointing. EA might be the most evil company in the world, but now Blizzard has shown the same talent for being a douchebag.

One Comment

  1. I absolutely agree with your article.

    What saddens me are the hordes of myopic fatass americans who are defending this crap (or resigned to it) because they’re so used to taking it up the ass from behind (e.g. Fox News, Bush’s reelection).

    I, too, reside in a non-west country. So this means Blizzard gets a free pass to shit on me, too? In an average 2-hour evening session, my friend (who gave into temptation) clocked 3 disconnects. Three! Every time! What the fuck is this?

    Anyone who has played these games knows they are not simple board games where, if you accidentally disconnect, can immediately hop back in. “Oh sorry mate, my connection crapped out for a sec.” Nope, in games like Diablo 3, disconnecting without warning can easily mean the loss of 10-20 minutes of gameplay. 3 times 10 minutes is half an hour… a humongous 25% of my limited spare time blown off just like that simply because Blizzard decided to be cunts and fuck up the singleplayer experience. Wow.

    You’re right again, unfortunately, in the sense that Blizzard has already made their pile. They can pull this shit and get off relatively scott-free. But let other publishers try this crap… and we’re going to ream them like they’ve been reaming us customers so far.

    Ubisoft saw drops of up to 90% of their sales when their DRM blew up in their faces. Let’s see which other big name studio wants to drag their name through the same muck.

    Bring it on.

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